Once I was giving a presentation on mentoring and a senior leader in the organization asked me how many mentees a mentor should limit themselves to.  I told her that I had never turned down anyone who asked me in good faith to mentor them, and that she was asking the wrong question.  In my view, the right question is whether your intersection with a potential mentee will make a positive difference in both of your lives, and if you say no, what will the lost opportunity cost be to both of you?

Innovating through Intersections

Do you believe in coincidence? I think I did when I was much younger. Over time, I began to see an elegant pattern unfold, especially regarding intersections with other people whom I did not previously know. I am now 71 years young, and with each passing year, I marvel more and more about the blessings and enrichment I have received just by taking that one, simple step into the unknown and bringing yet another person into the sphere of my personal and professional life. There is a wonderful book called “The Medici Effect” written by Frans Johannson that talks about innovation, about how we increase the possibility of innovation by stepping into intersections we are presented with, whether coincidence or not. I believe each intersection is a unique and special opportunity to increase personal and professional growth, to enrich our networks and social capital, and to make a positive difference in the world and in the lives of others. We grow our story with each intersection we enter into creating new opportunities and possibilities in the process.

Grace in Action

As I reflect on my life, I think about the richness of my networks – family, friends, colleagues, mentors, mentees, connections on social media – and the possibilities that they turned into realities. Every day we are confronted with opportunities to make a difference in our personal and professional lives, to change the world, not in necessarily big ways, but in ways that matter, nonetheless. One of life’s most intriguing mysteries to me is how each of us is making a difference in the lives of others, yet most of the time we are unaware that we are doing it. Occasionally, something happens to remind us that we matter deeply to each other. This is what I call “grace in action.” An unexpected call, a note, an email, a letter will arrive, and in it, there is some deeply moving remark about how something you did or said touched another person’s life in a positive and meaningful way. Each such reminder represents a “yes,” a time when you intentionally opened yourself to another person. You overcame your barriers – your fears, your lack of time, your lack of trust, your weariness, your need for personal space among a host of other excuses – to become available to another person and make their life matter to yours and yours to them. The choice is always ours to enter into the intersection or to walk away. How do you measure lost opportunities? I don’t know, but I do know that when I step into an intersection, I know inside my heart that it is going to be important and that I cannot step away. I am not always right about that 6th sense, but more often than not the intersection becomes a meaningful and valuable part of either my personal and professional life, or both.  There will always be enough time for the things that are most important, so the lack of time excuse is just that, an excuse. 

 Enduring Riches

As a person ages and experiences life and death transitions, the question of richness becomes inevitable. What does it mean to be rich? Like most of my peers, I like nice things. I love our beautiful house and our comfortable lifestyle. I am a still a sucker for vintage audio (vinyl records and the wonderful machines that play them!), my garage toy (2006 Monterey Red Corvette), good wine, good food and the ability to see our kids, their spouses, and our grandkids. Over the past decade, we lost my dad, my mom, and two brothers-in-law along with too many of my friends and classmates to count. We also saw the birth of four of those precious little ones and the safe return of our two sons from military overseas deployments. I think a lot about the concept of legacy – simply put, what of importance will be left behind after I am gone – and I think it is inextricably bound to the intersections that I chose to enter over the course of my life. These are riches that cannot be measured in a conventional sense, but is there really anything more important?

Entering the Intersections

The message of this post is a simple one of hope, grace, and opportunity. Today, you touched someone else’s life. You were offered an opportunity to enter into a personal or professional intersection, whether it was a chance greeting, a simple conversation, a smile, simply saying thank you, talking to a person you just met at the store or at work, or taking a deeper step with a person to mentor them or to help them through a personal or professional crisis or challenge. What matters is that you did it. You did not have to. There is no scorekeeper, no real tangible reward for your time and energy, only your personal satisfaction. But at each intersection, we have the chance to increase our personal and professional wealth in perhaps the most meaningful way of all – creating the kind of wealth that comes from having someone in your life who honestly cares about you and is grateful to have you in their life. That is all the wealth I need at the end of my days. The rest is vapor.

Creating a Legacy of Significance

In these days of deep cynicism, judgement, discord, and division, each of us has the power to make a positive difference, to create new opportunity space, to innovate a better future, one “yes” at the time. Grace can’t be bought, it knows no class or position, it is simply there for anyone with eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart to accept. Make the decision today to give someone else that gift of grace – reach out and say “yes” to the intersection that is waiting there for you and be moved in the giving as you will move the lives of those you touch. Your personal and professional life will be enriched, and you will be a force for good in the world. That is a legacy that matters.