Years ago, while working at a large aerospace defense company with over 12,000 employees, a revealing insight emerged from the employee opinion survey (EOS). The primary grievance of the administrative support staff highlighted a crucial aspect of leadership and respect: they felt unrecognized by the scientists, engineers, and other professionals, who seldom called them by their names. This small act, or lack thereof, significantly impacted the workplace atmosphere, underscoring how essential respect and acknowledgment are in leadership. The situation illuminated that leadership is not just about managing tasks but also about valuing every team member, a lesson in the subtle power of personal acknowledgment and respect in fostering a positive work environment.
The Simple Step of Respect Often Overlooked
As a senior leader in that organization, I made it a point to learn the names of the staff that I routinely interfaced with, and to greet them by name when I saw them in the building. As a retired military officer, I had spent 26 years with the blessing of name tags visible on our uniforms. While at the company we all wore badges with our name and photo on them it was next to impossible to read them, so asking the person their name was a simple first step to acknowledging their presence. Even after the survey results were known, I was shocked at how few took this simple step to show respect for these important members of the team.
Applying the Lesson of Respect in Personal and Professional Life
Over the years, I have carried this lesson with me, and applied it in both my personal and professional life. As we go about our daily lives, we encounter others whom I believe are seeking the same kind of simple validation and respect. I know that when I have a meeting or set up an appointment, it matters to me that I be greeted and called by my name. I put this part of the Golden Rule into practice by doing the same for those helping me. When I do, more often than not, they are shocked when I ask them their name. In virtually every instance, the shock fades quickly to a smile.
The ‘Waiter Rule’ and Its Implications in Leadership
From the cashiers and butchers at our local supermarkets to the wait staff at the restaurants we frequent to our mail carriers and our landscapers, asking these people their name (and remembering them) is the simplest way to show respect and appreciation for the person and for the work they do. More importantly, it is a transparent window into the value system of every leader in every organization. The “Waiter Rule” has many claimants, but the following quote from former Raytheon CEO Bill Swanson is one that resonates most with me:
“A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, or to others, is not a nice person. Watch out for people who have a situational value system, who can turn the charm on and off depending on the status of the person they are interacting with. Be especially wary of those who are rude to people perceived to be in subordinate roles.”
The Inestimable ROI of Basic Leader Behavior
Kindness cost nothing. Respect costs nothing. Yet the ROI for this basic leader behavior is inestimable. People will follow leaders they respect, and they will respect leaders who respect them first. Asking “What is your name, please?” is an easy first step to establishing your credentials as a good leader.
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