Life has a way of sometimes delivering news that stops you in your tracks. For my family, that moment recently came when we learned my 81-year-old father, Xavier Olmos, was diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer. At the time of his diagnosis we also learned the cancer had already spread to his liver. This was a bolt from the blue for all of us; especially since my father, aside from the typical aches and pains that come with age, had been doing well for his age. 

The Family Backbone and a Time for Reflection

The news hit especially hard as it came just two years after the loss of our mother. She and my father had been married for 55 years. Like many families, our mother was the glue that held us together and after her passing, my father became somewhat of a nomad. This was aided by the fact that my parents sold their home in California to move in with my sister in Georgia when my mom was sick and needed some added care. 

Both my parents loved to travel so without the concern for maintaining a home, my dad focused on traveling and visiting with family from coast to coast. When we got the news of my dad’s diagnosis, I was without words. Up until then, he had trips lined up and showed no signs of slowing down. The news prompted me to take a step back. As I considered his life’s journey, I also took a hard look at my own life, my career, and my various things I was engaged in that kept me busy.

A Journey Through Time: Born into Adversity

My father was born in 1942 in Temple, Texas, at a time when being a Mexican-American in a rural area came with its own set of challenges. His father was an immigrant from Guadalajara, his mom from Rogers, Texas. Like many families like his at the time, they were poor in material resources but rich in family values. They faced struggles that were not just economic but also social, as they navigated the complexities of life as a minority in a racially divided country. 

Despite the challenges of the time, listening to the stories my dad would tell, one would never guess it was all that bad. It’s difficult to imagine how these early experiences wouldn’t leave a mark on one’s outlook on life; however, for my dad, he often reflects upon this time admirably. 

The Fields of the Central Valley: A Testament to Grit

In the late 1940’s my dad’s family moved from Texas to California’s Central Valley, a region known for its agricultural richness and abundance of fieldwork. My grandfather instilled the values of hard work in all his kids and made sure everyone worked to contribute to the family. In California’s agriculturally rich central valley, my father and his seven siblings would wake up before dawn to pick the crops that were in season. During the spring as the onion crop was ready to pick, both my mom and dad would tell us stories of attending school smelling of onions and soil. 

They would get up early to pick onions before school and then return to the fields afterwards to pick until sunset. Enduring the elements at all times of the year, this was not just a job; it was a way of life, and a rite of passage for many Mexican American families of that era. The money earned didn’t go into their pockets; it went to my grandfather and was used to support the family.

The Mexican-American Family Experience

Being part of a Mexican-American family during that era was a study in contrasts. On one hand, there was the richness of culture, deep-rooted family values, and a sense of community. On the other, the family faced societal prejudices and economic limitations. Yet, they found solace in their close-knit community, their faith, and especially in music.

In fact, my dad’s brothers took this love for music a step further by forming a mariachi band in their adopted hometown of Bakersfield, CA. Given their proximity to Los Angeles, my uncles seized upon an opportunity to travel to LA to occasionally appear on local TV. While my dad may not have shared his brothers’ musical talents, what he did inherit was an unshakable work ethic and a set of core values that would guide him throughout his life.

The Self-Made Man: From GED to AT&T

For families like my dad’s, it wasn’t that education was undervalued; rather, the immediate priority was self-sufficiency. The emphasis was on proving you could earn a living and take care of yourself, which was often done through hard work. As a result, my dad bypassed college. Instead of investing in formal education, which was costly, he chose to enlist in the Air Force. During his service, he earned his GED, further proving that learning and progress could take many forms.

Despite not having a college degree, my father was a lifelong learner. His love for science and math, coupled with a mechanical aptitude, led him to a fulfilling career. After his service in the military, he eventually landed a job working for Pacific Bell, which would later become AT&T. Starting as a technician, he worked his way up to become an instructor for project managers, specializing in battery power plants used in fiber optic communications. His rise through the ranks was not just a career progression; it was a life progression, a manifestation of his belief in the power of hard work and continuous learning.

DIY Dad: Blueprint of Self-Reliance

Throughout my career, I’ve always been one to take matters into my own hands. Never one to wait around for help, I would often do what it takes to develop my skills so I can be self-serving. I got this trait from my dad. Growing up, it was rare for my dad to call in a professional to fix or build anything around our home. I think he believed you shouldn’t pay someone for a job you could do yourself. Or maybe he just loved a good challenge. Either way, his DIY attitude really stuck with me. For many years, I did all my own oil changes, brake jobs, and lawn mowing. However, as my career picked up and demanded more of my time, I remember feeling guilty the first time I gave in and hired someone to do the work around my house that I didn’t have time for.

My dad was a different story. No matter how much he had going on, he rarely outsourced tasks. Whether the job involved plumbing, carpentry, roofing, car repairs—you name it, he tackled it. There was no job too big or too small. If the car needed a carburetor rebuilt or a complete engine overhaul, dad was on it. If the kitchen needed a remodel, the pool needed resurfacing, a new deck needed building, or a bathroom needed retiling, he took care of that too. He was the guy fixing a fridge that wouldn’t cool, a washing machine on the fritz, or a TV that wouldn’t turn on. Even after retiring, his projects didn’t stop. He even helped build the home he and my mom retired to, carrying his DIY spirit with him every step of the way.

Lessons That Shape a Lifetime

As I think about my dads life journey; from very humble beginnings to all the experiences and accomplishments he shared with me and my siblings, I am reminded of how grateful I am. The lessons my father imparted are not just words; they are the foundational principles that have guided my life. He demonstrated to me through his accomplishments the value of hard work, commitment, perseverance, and honoring your word. 

From observing my dad and how he got things done, he showed me that you don’t always have to be the most credentialed person in the room, you can best them all by being the hardest working. He had little patience for talk without action, a lesson that has influenced my own leadership style. His emphasis on self-sufficiency contributes to the person I am today, a person who believes that if something needs doing, you roll up your sleeves and get it done. While it may be difficult, and you may stumble, what really matters most is that you got it done and completed it without others having to hear about how difficult it was for you. 

Perhaps most importantly, he taught me to face life’s challenges head-on, to meet adversity with effort and resolve. As I reflect on these core memories, I have developed some life lessons that I will continue to pass along: 

• You don’t have to be the smartest person in the room, you just have to outwork everyone else. Show up early, work late, do what you said you would do and don’t suck.
• Lots of people love to hear themselves talk but few like to do the actual work it takes to get something done. For me, this has manifested into the fact that I like to hear things three times. When you think about it, when you start, and when you are done. I think this is why if someone tells me something more than twice and you haven’t started, I lose interest.
• Be self-sufficient. No one is going to do it for you and if you are waiting on someone else to help you or help you get started, you might as well forget it. If you don’t care enough to figure it out on your own, you probably don’t care about it all that much. 
• No matter how bad it may seem, it is only going to get worse if you ignore what is happening. Face your issues head on, keep grinding away at it, and keep working. Things only get better with effort.

Coming Full Circle: A Renewed Focus

As I grapple with the emotional weight of my dad’s diagnosis, I’m drawn back to the foundational values he instilled in me. These values continue to guide me with renewed purpose, sharpening my focus on what’s genuinely important: family and impactful work. I am the living legacy of my parents, and I’m committed to honoring that legacy through unwavering hard work, resilience, and an undistracted focus on what truly counts.